GHS: Partners in Fantasy fanfiction

I never showed this yet, but I do have a fic for GHS on fanfiction.net. :U when I have time I'll be continuing it, I'm actually about to type up chapter 7 right now. Here's the link if you wanna start reading, and I'm sorry for the double-topic, if that even makes any sense whatsoever...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7181308/1/bGregory_b_bHorror_b_bShow_b_Partners_in_Fantasy

There may be a small amount of foul language, just a faiiiir warning.

OK, just so we're clear, "guest who has seen show before" was totally my idea first.

Read up to the end of chapter 2 thus far. Pretty good so far, I can blame not being able to tell the species of Pokémon plushie on this most likely being "written" after the house has done a little meddling. Occasional little grammar or capitalization error, but nothing big.

Hehe, I know, I've actually read yours, it's one of my favorite GHS fics there xD I especially loved it when you were humming the Luigi's Mansion theme ahaha

Really? Well, I did spell Judgment boy wrong, I do know that for a fact, maybe I should fix that later... Anything you'd like to specifically point out for me to fix?

Glad to hear you like it so much. I'm sorry I haven't worked on it in a while, but ideas flow as they will and ideas for that story just haven't been flowing my way. However, you can catch the half of the next chapter I've written in the story's topic here; it's near the bottom of the board.

Misspelling Judgment Boy's name by forgetting to drop the silent "e" seems to be a bit of a tread. I know I was following it because it was misspelled on the GHS Wiki, made worse by it being a page title and I couldn't change it because I wasn't the admin. I was thinking there needed to be another GHS Wiki that was more comprehensive, focusing more on the anime and manga, but I wouldn't even know where to start especially since I can't buy a domain name or anything yet. But I digress.

Anyways, the error I specifically had in mind when I typed my previous post was near the end of chapter 2.

He was probably one of the more... Tolerable characters around here.

Since you're not starting a new sentence, "tolerable" shouldn't be capitalized. If it was auto-corrected, as most modern word processors tend to do, you can backspace over and "re-correct" it.

Ah, okay! Got it, I'll be sure to fix that when I get to it.

Oh yeah, one other thing I forgot: at the start of chapter 3 (I've finished the story to the current point), when Death gives the main characters new bodies and it's mentioned Bright ended up looking like her online avatar, you... probably should've mentioned then that said avatar was a fox. It got me confused in the following chapter, because generally once you're distinctly not human in this series, you've pretty much already lost.

Speaking of chapter 4, I just now found this little tidbit:

"Well, yeah. We probably got here at least a few hours ago... Maybe even more."

"'Us?'" She questioned, blinking.

...Yeah, Bright never said "us," so it doesn't make sense for Angel Dog to parrot that.

I know I probably seem overly critical at this point, but I tend to be like that with written text. The story itself is still above average.

Oh, woops D; sorry, I should have mentioned that, yeah. I guess I need to think things through a bit more XD; the story WAS inspired by a drawing she made for my birthday, in which she was her persona in the GHS universe (a fox, of course)

I see! Thanks for the feedback, it's truly helpful.